Hello from Indiana

Hi I've ben looking for a Natsarim community. Glad I found this forum.

I am new to the Natsarim community but have found my way here through much diligent reading and study; plus more than a few bumps and bruises. That process has taken many years, some would say a lifetime. Anyway, I admit to being just a little confused (Ok, may a lot). There seems to be little agreement among various groups in this community on who exactly is a Natsari. I also find it to be painfully isolating. Being a 24/7 caregiver, a retired senior citizen and member of the "at risk" population has been more than a little difficult. Sometimes I long for my old "Church" days, but just for the fellowship. I need no more beatings. My study has lead to me placing a much greater emphasis on the Torah and that has been exciting and rewarding. One issue I would like to understand better, how do you keep the Feast Days? Do you go all-in and celebrate much like a Messianic Jew or do you only keep the feasts in your heart, or maybe something in between.